This is getting so hard. I want him to come home right now. I don't want to do this anymore, and I don't know if I can do this anymore. I think I had a panic attack or something, cause my chest was hurting, and I literally felt like I was suffocating. I've never been so scared in my life. I know it's just the stress from him not being here, and worrying about the whole deployment, and something happening to him. But I've got to figure out a way to get past this whole thing. I Love him more than anything, and I'm so proud of him for everything that he's doing. I won't let him know how I'm feeling, I can't. I feel like I'm keeping things from him, because I can't tell him that I'm not handling this well at all, I don't want to worry him, he doesn't need that while he's over there. But I truly don't know what to do, and how I'm gonna get through this. I feel like half of me is missing, so empty and incomplete. I know I've got to be strong, for myself, but more important, for him and for Denny. In time, I'm sure I'll feel better