I've been really busy, getting everything ready for Allen to come home, working on school stuff, and helping my friends get ready for their husband's returns that I completly have been forgetting to do things. I don't know where my mind is lately. I went from being SUPER excited, and anxious, to nervous and scared to frustrated and angry all within the last few days. I know that things change all the time, and it can't be helped. It's not his fault or my fault that this is happening, but I really thought I would know something by now. He called me yesterday again, he's been doing really good about calling me. At least he was. Right now, I'm frustrated because I haven't heard anything from him, and I know that he's just sitting around with nothing to do, so why hasn't he called me. Is he mad at me for something, does he just not want to talk to me, are the phones down, or is it simply because he doesn't want me to be disappointed that things aren't going the way they were originally planned to take place. I don't know. I just wish I would hear something, from him, from rear d, from someone. I want to know what's going on. I've waited for him to come back home to me for so long, and I know he's waiting to come home to. But, I deserve to have some answers here, and so does he. I can only imagine how he must be feeling right now. I know what it's doing to me, and it has to be just as bad if not worse for him. I just want him home. I better hear something from someone by tomorow night, or i'm gonna go crazy. It feels like it's never going to happen. It's never gonna be our turn to have our family back under the same roof. It's just not fair. I trying to be patient, but my patience is wearing thin. I don't know what to do. It doesn't even feel real to me that he's coming home anymore. Because it's just not happening the way it was supossed to, and I guess that's normal from whatever else has said, but normal doesn't make it fair, or right. Cause it's wrong. We have all waited long enough, just get him home already. I don't like knowing that he's still there, and things seem to be picking back up and getting bad again over there. I find myself constantly worrying, and right now, I'm not even really excited anymore, I'm angry and frustrated. I'm not going to be excited until I know he's out of there for real. Now, I think I understand why he said that he wasn't getting excited until he was on the plane, Now I see his reasoning behind that, and what he meant. Because when things don't happen the way you want them to,or think they're going to happen, it is a big disappointment, and now we have experienced that firsthand unfortuneatly. I don't know why either. I just want to talk to him, and I hope he calls soon. I finished mostly everything I wanted to do before he gets home, still a couple things that I need to get done. Hopefully I'll have everything else finished up tomorrow. Then I can just relax a little and concentrate on my school work, until it's time for him to come home. School is going good. I really am enjoying my social psychology class, math is really hard, and I can tell it's gonna be a struggle for me to get through it, but I'm really working hard at it. The kids will be getting their report cards soon, and I'm anxious to see if rTiffany's grades have come up at all, and also how Dennis's grades are now. I think he might have gotten his first B. In math. I know we can't come down on him about it because a B is still good, but it's hard for me not to be a little disappointed because I know he's capable of more. Yesterday we went to Jessie's for Terra's birthday party, and the day before we went to Chris's house for dinner and then she helped me with Math. I'm just trying to stay as busy as possible while I wait for him to call, or come home. Hopefully I'll hear from him soon. The waiting game is driving me crazy.